Dating is awesome, right? But sometimes we fall into unhealthy and toxic relationship patterns that we don’t even realize we’re making, which makes it not so awesome. That’s why a good wake-up call is in order, so we can let go of these bad habits and, in turn, strengthen our #relationshipgoals.
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Below are six of the most common things in dating that many couples think are totally healthy and normal, but are actually toxic and slowly destroying your relationship.
1. Being Too Nice
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There’s a huuuuge difference between being a friendly person and being someone’s doormat. Of course you want your partner to be happy, but their happiness shouldn’t be at the expense of your self-respect. Being overly accommodating often leads to abandoning your own needs and desires, which is no bueno for your relationship. Keep the positive attitude and ditch the people-pleasing vibe. Instead: go for a more compromising attitude.
2. Keeping a Relationship Scorecard
Remember when you went to ComicCon two years ago and your boyfriend ignored you for most of the day? If you keep bringing up that sore point each time you have a fight (even though he’s apologized so many times for it since then) that means you’re keeping a relationship scorecard, which is really bad for your relationship’s success. Holding onto grudges and bitterness is super toxic. Deal with the issue at hand, and leave the past in the past.
3. Not Being Present
Your bae is telling you about awesome his soccer game went, but you’re too busy Snapping your friends to really listen or respond. Sound familiar? Not being present with your partner means you’re probably not engaging with them in convo, which means you’re not actively communicating with each other. When a couple stops communicating, even about the small things, then you might as well change your Facebook status to “single.”
4. Being Tooooo Generous
Sure, it feels really good to spoil your crush, or have him spoil you like the Queen you are, but sometimes too many gifts is too much. Hear us out. Being pampered is amazing, but when it gets excessive, you might end up feeling smothered and feel like you can’t keep up with the generosity. On the flip side, if you’re doing all the giving but none of the receiving, you’ll feel resentful. Best to keep a nice, healthy balance.
5. Being Passive Aggressive
Do you often drop hints to your partner about what’s bugging you rather than flat out telling them what’s wrong? Do you say “yes” when you really mean “no” and expect your bae to know the difference? If so, then you’re being passive aggressive, my dear, and that shows that you aren’t comfortable communicating openly and clearly with your guy. Try to state your desires and needs openly and honestly. If you can’t do so, then you’re not in the right relationship.
6. Taking Each Other for Granted
It’s super cool when you’re with someone that knows how important Friday Netflix Nights are to you and your squad. But it’s not cool when you expect your boyfriend to be OK with your canceling plans on him without asking first. When you stop appreciating the special person in your life for all the really special things he does for you, then he’ll eventually stop, and you’ll both feel bad about it.