Candlelight. Low-stakes gambling. Greasy potatoes. Apple sauce— just a few of the many reasons why Chanukah is the most romantic holiday of them all. Not only is it the celebration of light, but it also provides an entire week to standby and await the greatest miracle of all: true love. If one day’s worth of oil could burn for eight days, you can fall in love! (At least that’s what my Grandma’s always told me).
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If nothing else, Chanukah reminds us that miracles happen. Nothing is impossible. There’s always hope. And sufganyot. Here are a few of my suggestions as to how to get the ball rolling and improve your chances of finding love:
1. Spin the Dreidel
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Like spin the bottle, but with a dreidel. Nun Gimel Hay Shin? Simply point the dreidel in the direction of your crush and dive right in for a kiss!
Oven, kitchen, or house– Your commitment to the disaster will directly equate to the return on the investment. A truck of firemen and probably an entire EMS rescue force, will arrive to the scene. More heroes = more options. Oven fires in apartment buildings work well too, especially if you’re interested in your landlord or adorable next-door-neighbor.
3. Latke Injury
Clumsy is cute. Never made latkes before? Have no fear. You don’t need to know how to prepare potato pancakes in order to score a damsel-in-distress themed meet with a super cute doctor at the local ER. You simply need to know how to pretend you’ve been injured. Try this on nights one or two. You may have a potential husband offering to make you some later that very week. You’ll bring the sour cream!
4. Host a Chanukah “Party”
Invite one guest. Be prepared with a few realistic excuses as to why a believable number of your guests can no longer come, at the last minute. Car trouble, sick pet…..Play delightfully confused as to where the majority of them are, but appear unconcerned and breezy. Offer your guest grape juice and guilt him into sticking around for the long haul. He is your only guest, after all.
Invite your crush over to make donuts. Not great in the kitchen? Invite him over to eat donuts. Tell him there’s a bunch left over from the big party you had that he wasn’t invited to. Boom! He’s jealous. Make sure they’re powdered sugar. Commence eating. Oh look, you’ve got something on your face, you say. Let me get that for you…with my mouth. You’re making out. It tastes sweet, like fried dough. What’s more romantic than that? Literally nothing. NOTHING! Nun.
6. Potatoes Section – Grocery Store
Enter store. Target male. Cheerfully collide and ask if you can rack his brain about something. Try to woo him towards the potatoes, but if that doesn’t work you’ve come prepared with a potato in your basket. Ask him if he thinks it’s a good one. If it’s ripe. Romance. Love. Studs ❤ Spuds.
7. Pick Up line Mecca
I’m really good at pick up lines, so feel free to use any of my originals such as I Like you a LATke or Is it exhausting being you because you light up the room like the miracle of Chanukah?
8. Couples Present
Gift him something that demands a plus one, like two tickets for a hockey game or a pair of one-way tickets to Thailand! Instant date, and if you go the Thailand route, maybe even the start of happily ever after…
Everyone falls in love in different ways, but these are just some of my guaranteed tips! *They’ve never failed anyone! Go get after it!
IMPORTANT DISCLAIMER: *Please note that none of these methods have been tested IRL, so they never happened.*