An Introvert’s Guide to Dating

Because you've gotta leave the house sometimes

Dating is tough on everyone, but it’s especially difficult for introverts. While extroverts gain more energy by being around people, introverts are happiest when by themselves. This makes things a bit tricky in the love department.  It’s hard enough to convince an introvert to leave her house under the best of circumstances; dating just makes it that much more complicated (and makes Netflix that much more appealing).

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However, introverts can and DO find love. Here our some easy and effective tips on how to date as an introvert.


1. Learn to Love Small Talk

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Introverts typically find first dates — which are commonly filled with small talk and awkward silences — hella stressful and, basically, not that fun. Introverts want to get to a deep convo ASAP, but some people might think talking about super serious stuff right away is TMI and could be turned off. Small talk doesn’t exist to make you annoyed; it’s an easy, flirty way to connect with your date or someone new. Once you remember that small talk serves a purpose and must come before the serious chats, then it becomes easier to answer a question like, “What’s your fave pizza topping?”


2. Stray From Your Comfort Zone

You’re not going to meet your future bf/gf from the comforts of your bedroom — sorry! Dating means stepping out of your comfort zone just a liiiiiitttle bit. Make it easier by joining clubs and/or sports teams that you actually enjoy. Plus meeting someone at an activity that you both like makes connecting with them — including making small talk — that much easier.


3. Set Some Boundaries

Once you’ve decided that you want to mingle more, it’s key to set some boundaries for your introverted soul. For some going out on two dates a week could be super stressful, and might find dating twice a month is the perfect amount — or vice versa! Striking the right balance between your social calendar and your me-time will not only bring calm and peace to your mind (a must!) but will also make dating something you want to do.


4. It’s OK to Cancel Sometimes

If you’re feeling totally exhausted and you know you need to recharge by lying low, it’s okay to cancel your date. It’s best to be honest with the reasons why you’re canceling — so your bae doesn’t take it personally — and follow up your cancellation with plans to reschedule your date. As an introvert your time and energy is precious, and you know that when you feel your best, you act your best. However, this doesn’t mean you cancel EVERY date because your couch looks way more comfortable. It’s all about balance, right?


5. Don’t Be Someone You’re Not

Don’t feel like you have to try to act like an extrovert because you think that’s the only way you could ever attract a potential bae. For example, don’t tell a new crush that you love loud concerts when you really don’t — because you might end up at one and hate every second of it. Introverts are awesome! Be proud of who you are and don’t be afraid to tell people that you are one. The right person will be attracted to everything that YOU have to offer — including your need for alone time on the couch.