Q: I don’t like my best friend’s boyfriend AT ALL. In fact, I pretty much hate him. He’s literally the worst. He never talks to me when we spend time together. He’s always on his phone and when he does talk, he acts like a total know-it-all. But I love my bestie, and she does seem happy. What do I do? Do I still have to hang out with them together? Should I say something, or do I bite my tongue? Or do I have to wait for them to break up? Ughhhhh.
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A: This is a tough one. You want to be happy for your friend because she’s happy, but you’re also thinking: “WHY HIM?” At the same time, you want to be honest with your BFF because you only want the best for her — and you obviously think this bro ain’t it. Buuuutttt you also don’t want to jeopardize your friendship either! Like I said, it’s a toughie.
Here are a few options for your problem.
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1. “Accidentally” spill water on his phone. (JOKING!)
2. Decide whether or not your hate for this guy is justified. You might be bothered by his poor manners and general vibe, but if he’s still a good boyfriend to your friend, then it’s not worth saying anything to her. If you end up telling her how you feel, she might think you’re being petty or jealous of her relationship, and you don’t want those vibes either. In this case, you want to set some boundaries. Make a point of inviting your friend over for girls-only Netflix nights and mani/pedi Sundays. This way you’re still spending time with your bestie — and avoiding contact with her annoying BF.
3. If your friend’s boyfriend is the guy who flirts with girls whenever she’s not around (or maybe she is, which is worse), and is also super overprotective of your bestie and wants to know where she is and who’s she with at all times, you might have a problem. He might even have some darker issues, which you know isn’t healthy for your friend. If he’s any of the above, then basically he’s bad news, and you have an obligation to speak up to your friend and tell her how you feel about her boyfriend and why.
4. Be open to the possibility that the dude just might be nervous. Maybe he’s secretly insecure and afraid that his girl’s squad won’t accept him. Maybe he’s even a little envious of how close you two are. So instead of being this super friendly guy, he retreats and acts a little moody. If that’s the case, then you might want to reconsider giving him a second chance and being the bigger person in the situation. Make more of an effort to welcome him into your group. Ask him more questions about himself, like what’s his current fave movie or show on Netflix. Joke around with him. You never know: you might end up becoming friends with him yourself.