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Having your heart broken is THE worst. Which is why, if you’re about to call it quits on your relationship, you want to do it as respectfully as possible. It’s true that you might not be in love anymore and that you’re so over everything right now, so you think, “Maybe I’ll send a text and get it over with.” But, wait.
Put yourself in your partner’s shoes. Remember: no one likes to be rejected. And what makes a breakup even more heart wrenching is how you go about it. Though your bae will feel hurt no matter what, the pain somehow isn’t toooooo bad when you decide to be the bigger person and attempt to end the relationship like the respectful and empathetic human being you truly are.
There’s no good way to break someone’s heart, but there is certainly a wrong way to do it. Here are three ways NOT to break up with someone.
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1. Text (also includes Snapchat, Instagram, Twitter and Facebook)
LBH: text is super lazy. It has replaced emotions with emojis and full sentences to a series of abbreviations. Texting is okay for casual convos — it shouldn’t be used to replace super important ones. The problem with breaking up over text is that it casts a nasty negative shadow over your relationship. It says to the other person that your time spent together didn’t really mean anything, and that’s a raw deal. It’s also cowardly and disrespectful.
Alternative: Muster up the courage to offer your partner the respect and courtesy he or she deserves by delivering the bad news in person. Breaking up face-to-face gives value to the time that you did spend together.
This isn’t okay whether you’ve been dating two weeks or two months. Ghosting is NEVER okay. You should never end a relationship by pulling a disappearing act because you’re either too chicken or can’t be bothered to do it in person. Leaving your ex without any explanation as to why you’ve gone MIA is incredibly frustrating and hurtful.
Alternative: Offer your ex closure by breaking up with them in person, as well as solid reasons as to why you’re ending the relationship. It might not be easy (because, umm, breaking up isn’t supposed to be easy!) but what you say to your ex will stay with them long after the relationship has ended. Wouldn’t you like your ex to remember you as someone they actually liked and respected?
3. Break Up in Public
You might think that by breaking up with your ex in a coffee house or restaurant will save you from having to see he or she get emotional. In fact, the opposite will probably happen. If your ex has no idea what’s going on, chances are he or she will cause a scene and end up humiliating themselves, which makes matters even worse.
Alternative: End the relationship in a private location where you will not be disturbed by any outsiders. Be calm, kind and respectful if your ex happens to have a breakdown. Offer a hug or some sort of consolation, and don’t leave until they have calmed down. They deserve that much.
How you break up with someone is not only a reflection of you as a person, but a reflection of the relationship itself. Some relationships are not meant to be, and it’s totally okay to want to end a relationship that’s not working, but that doesn’t mean it has to end in a negative way. Breaking up with someone respectfully and kindly will help keep those happy memories you shared together in tact, while allowing both of you to move on in a more positive way.