Sooo… Selena Gomez and Justin Bieber are (probably) back together. I mean, not officially. But COME ON, have you seen the photos?
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This rollercoaster of emotions over the past few weeks has us feeling all kinds of ways. Here are the seven honest phases of realizing Jelena is totally back together:
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It’s a beautiful day as you stroll along without a care in the world. There’s a chill in the air, the birds are singing a tune just for you, and you realize how lucky you are to be alive and enjoying the beauty of this world.
You pull out your phone to check Facebook. Because you know what really compliments a scenic walk? Staring at a screen and tripping over every crack in the sidewalk.
You scroll away peacefully until BAM. You see it. TMZ reports that Justin was seen at Selena’s house last night.
CUE: UTTER SHOCK.
You think to yourself:
HOW DID HE GET IN?
DID HE CRAWL IN THROUGH THE CRAWLSPACE AND POP UP IN THE LIVING ROOM? OR DID HE SHOOT DOWN THE CHIMNEY IN ONE OF HIS RED SWEATPANTS SUITS?
OR… DID SHE LET HIM IN?!
ARE THEY… ARE THEY… ATTEMPTING TO BE FRIENDS!?
THIS CANNOT BE HAPPENING. SEL, YOUR HEART! PROTECT YOUR BEAUTIFUL, SOULFUL LITTLE HEART.
DOES THE WEEKND KNOW!? IS HE COOL WITH IT!?
SELENA, GET HIM OUT OF THERE. OUT OF YOUR HOME AND OUT OF YOUR HEART!
Your boyfriend then sweetly takes you by the arm and tells you to stop screaming because you’re scaring the children.
You take a deep breath. Reports say The Weeknd knows all about it, and he’s cool with it. Everything’s fine.
TMZ is reporting that Justin, wearing sweatpants, and Selena were seen getting breakfast together. But it’s like, totally fine. Selena’s not that careless. She would never get back together with him. She’s happily with The Weeknd.
Plus, is that even Justin? It’s probably just some doppelgänger or some robot from Westworld. Yeah, that makes sense. A robot. No reason to panic.
But deep down you’re like:
You then find out they also went to church together that morning, and even God himself was like:
BREAKING NEWS: The Weeknd has broken up with Selena Gomez because the passion just “faded.”
And you’re totally like:
HOW DARE HE!! True love is dead, and you killed it, ABEL!
It then hits you: Selena and Justin are totally getting back together. You say a little prayer for Selena’s heart.
And then, the bargaining begins. You promise to give up all carbs if things can just go back to the way they were.
But when you see Selena and Justin — who’s wearing sweats — riding bikes together and cuddling, you eat a box of Cheez-Its to cope with the stress of the impending Jelena reunion.
Justin and Selena attend church together TWICE in the same say. Could it be? Maybe Justin has… changed? Maybe he’s a better man? Everyone deserves forgiveness, right? Maybe you’re the problem. Maybe you’re just a judgmental know-it-all.
But like, let’s be real… it’s Justin freakin’ Bieber.
But when you see Selena wearing his hockey jersey after his game, it gives you like ALL the feels. ALL THE FEELS.
But it also makes you really want to shower.
That jersey is definitely like, damp and sweaty, right?
5a. A PIT STOP BACK AT ANGER
The Weeknd is seen holding hands with Bieber’s ex, Yovanna Ventura. HOW DARE HE! YOU WEAR THAT DAMP JERSEY, SEL!
6. ACCEPTANCE AND HOPE
You start to remember the goods times — Justin serenading Selena with “My Girl” in a hotel bar, Selena gushing over how he’s the only one who understands her.
And then, the clip of Justin telling Ellen he hopes once they both grow they can come back to each other. I mean, you broke up with your boyfriend seven times before things got serious. Maybe it’s time. Maybe Jelena truly has a chance. For the first time, in a long time, you feel it. You feel hope.
Jelena is seen taking a stroll through LA.
OH MY GOD HOW MANY PAIRS OF SWEATPANTS DO YOU OWN, JUSTIN!?!?!
Your boyfriend then gently pries your phone from your clenched, claw-like hand. You lock eyes for a moment. And it’s then you realize: Maybe this whole thing isn’t about love or loss. Maybe it isn’t even about learning to trust again after a broken heart.
Maybe, this is truly about understanding that you have a problem. “I’m ____. And I’m addicted to celebrity gossip particularly anything surrounding bad boy Justin Bieber and sweet Selena Gomez,” you whisper. It feels good to admit it, to let go.
As you drift off to sleep that night, Justin’s leisure suits dancing in your head, you know tomorrow is a new day. And you will totally not click on another Jelena article.
See… hope. It’s in us all.