How to Break Up With Your Bae (Without Being a Jerk About It)

Because breaking up is hard to do

It’s over. For whatever reason, you have decided that your relationship with bae must come to an end, and now it’s time to face the (sad breakup/Adele) music. Usually the person doing the dumping gets the bad rep because they’re the ones who are held responsible for breaking the dumpee’s heart. But sometimes being the one to end a relationship is actually harder. Not only do you realize how much you are hurting your sweetie, but you also don’t want to pull a Taylor Swift and have any bad blood between the two of you.

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If you’re considering ending your romantic relationship, here are five tips on how to break up with bae — without being a jerk about it.


1. Do It in Person

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Yes, meeting IRL is going to be rough — especially compared to doing the deed over text or Snap. But it’s better to end your relationship in person. Since you’re breaking his heart, your bae deserves at least that much consideration and respect. If you don’t break up in person, you are withholding him from receiving any kind of closure, which is just cruel.


2. Be 100% About Your Decision

Make sure you’ve weighed the pros and cons of your relationship and that you feel deep down inside that ending it is the right decision. You don’t want to be the girl who breaks up with bae, only to backslide two weeks later. That’s totally going to mess with his head. Couples DO get back together, but getting back together shouldn’t even be in your head right now. If it is, maybe you’re not really ready to break up.


3. Choose Your Words

Warning: you’re in for one of the most awk convos ever. There’s going to be tons of emotions swirling around, and it’s super easy to say stuff that you’ll instantly regret later. It’s a good idea to think about the things you want to discuss beforehand. Be clear with what’s making you feel angry, hurt, or disappointed, and tell bae what you’re really looking for (more quality time? Clear communication? Some time alone?). It’s also important to talk about what was good about the relationship (you obviously had SOME good times) as well as the qualities you respect and admire in your partner (like how he always texted you good night and good morning).


4. Cut Off Contact For At Least 3 Months

Unfollow bae on alllll your social media accounts and don’t respond to any of his texts or Snaps. You might even consider deleting his number from your phone, too. Establishing these boundaries is not only good for your mental health, but it also helps your boyfriend to move on and heal, too. Staying in contact will give your ex some sort of false hope that maaaayyyybeeee you’ll get back together and it will only become confusing for both of you. If you want to remain friends, give him at least three months of space so that you’re not reopening old wounds.


5. Remember You Don’t Get to Be Jealous

By breaking up with bae, you have given up your girlfriend right to be jealz of anything your former bae does, or who he spends time with. Even though it sucks, you have to remember that it was YOU who made the choice to end things. This means no bitter texts after seeing him with a new girl on Instagram (which is why you should really cut off contact) or bringing the hate if he’s moved on before you. If you’ve truly broken up for the right reasons — that you believe you’ll be happier without bae — then you must wish him having the same happiness, without you.