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Breakups are hard. Especially the ones that leave you feeling like your heart has been ripped from your chest and then stomped on again and again. And let’s not forget the endless buckets of tears that just.won’t.stop. UGHHH. The truth is, it DOES get better. In fact, a breakup can leave you stronger and confident and more sure of what you actually want in a relationship.
We know. It might not feel like that way now, but after the Netflix-and-ice-cream marathon, here’s what you can do to heal and move forward post-heartbreak.
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1. Mourn the Relationship
Breakups feel like death, and that’s because something has died — your relationship. That’s a big deal. So acknowledge the loss and let yourself feel allll the feelings. Pretending that you don’t care won’t help you properly heal, which is why getting out all those raw emotions is essential with your healing process. If you’re embarrassed to shed tears in front of family and friends, allow yourself a private cry in your bedroom or while you take a shower.
2. Cut Off All Contact. For Real.
Having zero contact with your ex will help you process your feelings easier, cool off, and move on faster. This means no texts, calls or emails, and deleting him or her off allll your social media feeds. Yes, all of them. If you don’t, you run the risk of connecting after a period of loneliness and it will cloud your judgement as to why you broke up in the first place. You need a legit break — minimum 90 days — for your peace of mind.
3. Remember What’s Awesome About You
It’s super easy to blame yourself after a breakup and exaggerate reasons why someone wouldn’t want to be with you (“I’m too impatient! I wasn’t spontaneous enough!”). If you find that you’re doing this, stop and focus on all your amazing qualities instead. Like, how generous you are with your friends or how funny you are. And if your broken heart refuses to help you think of your awesomeness, call on your squad for support.
4. Do You
After you’ve been crying and living in your sweats for days, it’s time to get out of the house and have some fun. Whether it’s seeing a movie with your Mom or attending a concert with your bestie, make sure you do the things that you love with positive people who love you. Keeping yourself busy is the perf way to distract yourself from your sadness, and before you know it — you won’t even feel sad anymore!
5. Remind Yourself It’s a Process
After a few weeks, you might feel like you’re totally fine… only to search for your ex on Insta or scroll through your old photos on Facebook. That’s soooo normal. But it’s also the perf time to remind yourself that, though you and your ex shared some good times together, there’s something even better for you in the future. Don’t beat yourself for the occasional meltdown. Just acknowledge the moment and move on. Upward and onward, friend!
Remember: you don’t need a relationship to be happy. This is the time to remind yourself that you are strong, beautiful, courageous and amazing — all on your own!