We’ve all been there. Your feelings are hurt, you say something mean to your best friend, and then she says something mean back, and next thing you know you’re in a huge argument. Ugh. No matter if you think you’re right or wrong, we can all agree that fighting with your bestie — or bae — stinks. No one likes conflict, especially when it involves our loved ones. That’s why learning how to resolve arguments quickly and easily is crucial when it comes to relationships. The sooner you make up, the sooner you can get back to snuggles, Netflix nights and giggle fits.
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1. Say “I’m Sorry”
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Sometimes it’s as easy as saying those two words. Being able to apologize — and mean it — is one of the most important things you can offer in a relationship. Everyone makes mistakes and we all have the potential to hurt someone’s feelings — even if we don’t intend to. So if you have hurt your friend, tell her that you’re sorry. Most times this is enough to leave your fight far behind you.
2. Give Them Space
Space is important for both of you. Space gives you the time to process your hurt feelings, and, ultimately, heal. It also provides the opportunity for you to both cool down separately, so you aren’t likely to say additional angry things you’ll only regret later. Sometimes your bestie might want a ton of space while you want to resolve your fight ASAP. In this case, remain patient and tell her that you understand and respect her wishes. If you’re the one who wants space, tell your friend that you still love her and you’ll be in touch soon.
3. Don’t Let it Drag On
So you and your bestie have agreed to take some space from each other. As much as this is an awesome thing, you don’t want your fight to drag on, causing a long-term rift between you. After a week or so, send her a text and ask her if she’s ready to talk. Sometimes when you take the initiative, you’ll find that your friend has been waiting for you to reach out first.
4. Express Your Feelings
Once you’ve both cooled off, it’s important to talk about your feelings with bae. Meet at a neutral spot, like a park or a local coffee shop. Be as clear and honest as you can about how you feel about the fight, and why you feel hurt. But remember: communication goes both ways. You also need to be open to hearing how he feels about the fight and how you’ve possibly hurt his feelings. Try your best not to be defensive and look at this time as an opportunity to talk things out together because you really want to resolve your fight — not extend it.
5. Be Kind
Sometimes there are some major awk feelings post-fight. To get your relationship back to feeling normal again, do something sweet for your bae. Maybe send a cute text or treat him for a hot chocolate. It might feel forced at first, but doing something affectionate is a rad reminder that you do care about each other. Before you know it, you’ll be laughing and hanging out together like OGs — and feeling closer than ever.