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You met bae. You like him and he likes you, and now you’re *official*. This is an amazing time in your life, and one you don’t want to keep secret. Which means it’s time to tell your parents about him. Breaking the news to your folks about bae can be nerve-wrecking, especially if you have strict parents. Maybe you’re afraid they’ll disapprove of him, forbid you to see him again or completely embarrass you — or all of the above!
No matter what, you owe your parents the truth about your relationship status. Below are some tips to help you tell them the news without — hopefully — causing a major freakout.
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1. Decide Who to Tell First
We all have a parent with whom we’re most close to. If this is your first-ever boyfriend, you want a parent on your side to help you win over the more strict parent. You definitely need to tell both parents at some point, and sooner is always better than later.
2. Timing is Everything
It’s important to approach your mom and dad at a time that is convenient for them. Meaning, don’t break the news to Mom after she’s just come home from a busy day at work and is in the middle of making dinner for the family. And it’s probably a good idea to resist telling Dad as he’s dropping you off at school. Instead, find a quiet time where they are both relaxed and in a good mood to listen.
3. Lead With the Positives
First, explain to your parents why you think you’re ready to date. Don’t say something like, “Everyone else my age is doing it!” Instead come up with your own mature reasons as to why dating someone is important to you. Next, tell them that you have met someone who you would like to date. List all of bae’s best qualities and describe to your parents how happy he makes you feel.
4. Be Honest
Your parents will probably have a ton of questions for you. From wanting to know his family background to how you two met to wanting to see a picture of him, be open and honest with them and answer each of their questions. Don’t be defensive, either. They’re asking you a million questions because they care about you. Being truthful and calm will help diminish their worries and allow them to trust you even more.
5. Be Open to What They Have to Say
Your parents will want to voice their own concerns or even offer you some advice. Let them. They just want the best for you. They probably will have some guidelines about dating, including curfew and house rules, that they’ll want you to obey. Be open to what they have to say and calmly and maturely negotiate what you feel is fair. Whatever you do, try not to argue with your parents. Fighting over bae, especially before he’s even met them, is not a good way to introduce him to your parents. Thank your parents for listening, and if they still have concerns, suggest an IRL introduction to bae. Hopefully bae’s legit charm will win them over!