The Key to Confronting your BFF When You’re Upset With Her

Let her know how you feel

Best friends are our lifelines. Whenever something’s weighing heavily on us, best friends are there to shoulder the burden. Mine provide perspective and have a knack for making me laugh even when my eyes are sopping wet with tears. After ten minutes of their time, everything feels lighter. This though, is exactly why nearly nothing feels worse than being upset with one of them. These are the people that make it easier for me to live. When I’m upset with them, the issue is bigger than whatever it is that I’m upset about because on top of that, I’m at a loss for a confidante to help me through.

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We’re lucky to have even one friend like this in our contacts, so that’s why it’s so important to address whatever comes between the two of you so that you can make up and get back to having each others’ backs and analyzing each others’ screenshots. Let’s dive into the WHYs and HOWs of letting her know how you’re feeling.



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1. Mutual Respect

You both value your friendship, so you owe it to her to let her know what’s up before leaving her without a bestie. You most likely value the friendship equally, so it’s not up to only you to decide if you’re giving up on your relationship.

2. Better Future Together

Even if you decide to let your feelings roll off your back, there’s no sense in brushing them under the rug because it leaves her in the dark. If you talk to her, she’ll gain a sense of what you’re sensitive to, and know how to be a better friend for the future. This will contribute to the positive longevity of your relationship.

3. She Can’t Read Your Mind

Despite the possibility of ESP, it’s too fickle a concept to rely upon when it comes to the state of relations between best friends. You have to give her the benefit of the doubt and realize she may have no idea about your hurt feelings or frustration.




1. Be Direct

The worst way to deliver your message is passive aggressively. Be straight up with your best friend. Trying to send her signs without directly addressing the issue will likely escalate the situation and irritate her.

2. Explain Yourself:

Speak to her genuinely and openly. Let her know exactly why you’re feeling the way you are. Let her know what it was that happened, how it upset you, and why you’re still upset. This goes back to her not being able to read your mind. She may have been oblivious.

3. Listen

Hear your bestie out. Allow her to speak her side of the story and explain where she’s coming from. Take accountability if she’s upset too, and be prepared to give an apology if you’re looking for one as well.




You’ve got this! Confrontation is hard, but good friends are even harder to come by. We need to be conscientious about doing what it takes to hang on to the best ones. Once you express whatever you’ve been bottling up inside, you will feel so much better.