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When you’re really into someone, a guy’s lack of communication can mess with your head. Which is why it’s really easy to get super obsessed/anxious/mad/discouraged when we don’t hear back from a new crush. You’re thinking, “I just texted him — why isn’t he TEXTING ME BACK??” And if he doesn’t respond within a reasonable amount of time — say, 5 minutes — you’ll likely be glued to your phone for the rest of night. Do you text him again? Do you Snap him? Do you FaceTime him?!
Below are five tips on how to stop the circle of cray, so you can get back to a place of peace, confidence, and empowerment.
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1. Don’t Send Him Anymore Messages
This includes texts, iMessages, Snaps, etc. It might be super annoying that he’s not messaging you back, but it’s also super annoying to receive a ton of messages from someone within a short amount of time — especially when it’s NOT an emergency. Don’t message his friends either to see if he’s with them. Take a breath and wait it out. If you have to put away your phone, then do so.
2. Give Him the Benefit of the Doubt
Sometimes life gets in the way, making it difficult to respond instantly. Maybe he’s legit busy with chores or tied up with family stuff. Maybe his phone died and he forgot his charger at home. When we don’t receive the response we want, we often go to the negative and assume the worst. If everything has been fine between you two, and you know he usually texts you back, then assume he will when he can.
3. Don’t Wait Around
You got a life to live, so go ahead and live it up! Don’t waste a perfectly awesome Friday night obsessing over your phone or jumping whenever you receive a notification. Text your besties and arrange a night out. Dress up and have yourself an amazing time together. Not only will enjoying yourself put things in perspective (it is JUST a text message), but will also prove to you that you have a rad life with or without him.
4. Avoid Complaining Online
Don’t post a passive aggressive sub-tweet or Facebook status that’s obviously about your current situation. You might think it will catch his attention and force him to text you back, but in reality, it’ll probably turn him off because it’s just too much dramz. Keep your personal life just that — personal.
5. Send a Casual Text…After a Few Days
If you haven’t heard back from your new crush/bae, then feel free to send an ultra casual text message after a few days of radio silence. Instead of sending an angry message like, “Why aren’t you texting me back!!!” try sending one that is a safe blend of confident and flirty: “Hey, I haven’t heard from you! Just hoping everything’s all right and you didn’t get amnesia and forget all about me! ;)”.
If he doesn’t message you back at all, tell that boy bye and move on. Also, you might want to take a moment to think about WHY you want your guy to text you back. If you think, “He should WANT to text me back because he knows it will make me happy!” then you are making him responsible for your happiness, which is putting a lot of pressure on both of you. Remember: you deserve to be happy with and without a text message from bae.